Sunday, October 26, 2014

In My House You Will Find...

In my house you will find
(At least) one dirty sock in each room
A bin of 20ish single clean socks in the basement waiting for a partner to show up
A chewed piece of gum stuck to something
An empty beer bottle in a bathroom trash can
(At least) 30 books that have only been half read
A Tupperware in the fridge with something we ate over a week ago (and will never be eaten)
Large amounts of clean and dirty laundry, rarely in its proper place
A person teasing, a person crying, a person denying
Sometimes this is all the same person
4-9 varieties of cheese
1-8 pounds of butter
A panicked woman when the butter supply goes bellow 1 lb.
Pee on the bathroom floor
Recycling, yard waste, and garbage that needs taking out
A person on an electrical game device
Another person petitioning to use an electrical game device
10 or more pairs of shoes by the front door
Less than half of the shoes are on the provided shoe rack
A dinning room that looks like a school room
A guest room that looks like a TV room
7ish bags of chips on top of the refrigerator
4 bags are open
2 are the same kind but someone wanted new before finishing old
A mother who is irritated by the lack of eating old before starting new
A cut out of Nicholas Cage's face
A bed with two weeks worth of dirty laundry shoved between the mattress and the wall
Several food wrappers hidden under couches and beds
A mismatch variety of Tupperware despite ones effort to store lids and bottoms together
A dog who refuses to eat his dinner unless he's starving, being hand fed, or eating human food
A family who accommodates the picky dog because he's so dang cute
A mud path to the trampoline despite ones best efforts to plant grass three times a year
A sock or two stuck in the mud of the path
A healthy population of fruit flies by the yard waste container
One rock painted like a cat, another painted like a lady bug
Music playing in the kitchen 80% of the time
A pair of Cars sunglasses, three hot wheel cars, a princess wand and a crown that never seem to get put away
4 decks of cards in the kitchen and 2 in the dining room, all missing one card
A glass of ice water melting on the counter
A ripstick, a princess bike, a balance bike and several helmets on the front porch
A boy playing the piano - the same three songs over and over again
A pencil on each table
Somebody wanting a snack
Somebody needing a ride
Somebody wanting to talk
Somebody needing their space
And not usually, but at this moment, dirty socks on the counter.

An unusually clean school/dinning room
Lamest game device ever- keeps Hermon entertained in his bed each morning and night
My attempt to make sense of life- and a few page turners (please send me some page turner titles! No self help books please)
Queenie McBear making Little House salt pork and gravy
My hippie driver. He can't cut his hair until the play is over mid-December...

My Precious
This made me laugh so hard...

A little side story about the picture above.  Hiyab was given those gorgeous princess shoes by her friend.  She refused to wear anything else for days.  As you can see, they have very stiff soles and are on the wrong feet.  As she carried her plate to the sink she wobbled on her shoes and fell.  The plate- the last remaining one from our William Sanoma set that my grandmother gave us as a wedding gift 20 years ago, broke to pieces.  It felt like the end of an era to loose that plate, but how could I get upset?  Those shoes! OMG, they crack me up.

Monday, October 20, 2014

The Annual Fall Photo Shoot (and potential senior photos for Harrison)

 For the Fourth year in a row- I present to you, the fall line up.  
(For the last three years click here).

My next goal is to PRINT one of these out from each year and FRAME them!  Wouldn't that be awesome to have years and years of this picture on the wall going up the stairs?

Also, Harrison needs a picture for his yearbook.  Here are some of our favorite. 
Volleyball girl

Jacques Cousteau

Sweet scooter skills

JC Penny

Boy with Dog

He should totally be a model. 

(No, these are not serious.)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Sacred Thoughts, PTSD, and a Spiritual Crisis.

It's as if I've become allergic to ideas I used to hold sacred.

I read a blog post the other day, I can't remember who wrote it but the title was something like this:

Is there a person in your life who brings out the very worst in you?

I thought, "Why yes there is!" so I read it.  The author's conclusion went something like this:

God put that person in your life to help you become a better person/work on your issues/be the person He created you to be. 

Rewind 2, 3, 4 years and would have thought, Yes! I totally agree! But now... Oh now...

Instead I thought, what kind of logic is that? If that conclusion can be drawn then what about, "Does God bless one mother with financial wealth and leave another so poor that her child dies of starvation because one of the mothers needed to learn a lesson?" 

If we accept that good comes from God, doesn't the opposite hold true because we know He could make it all better but chooses not to?

It feels a little like flipping a coin to me. You win some you lose some.  Maybe He likes me today, maybe not.  It feels like it has something to do with me, my actions, my prayers.

But wait, Ephesians 2:8 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

Now I'm confused... by grace... through faith... I can't do anything, but I have to have faith... So I do have to do something? But the faith is a gift, I can't just decide to have it.  

But I digress...

Here's the things.  I have this kid.  This world see's him like this:
"Wyatt is cool and awesome.  I love Wyatt, he is my favorite brother.  Mom is the best mom.  She makes breakfast everyday.  She's the best.  Hiyab is the awesomest sister I have and I love her."
His words are kind and mostly spelled correctly.  He is thankful.  He loves his sister.  If I ended here you'd be left with the impression that he's a sweet and thoughtful boy.

This truth is, he only wrote that because he wrote this first:
He was trying to write, "Wyatt is dumb and a lady and mean."
He noticed me taking a picture and changed it to the kind sign and asked that I take a picture of that one.  

Outside of our home he is a lovely boy.  He plays well with others, does well at school, is a leader on his soccer team, and shepherds little children like the pied piper. Inside our home, he teases, complains, fights, threatens, hates, steals, and lies.  You may not believe me, but he prefers unhappiness.  If I make it right, he simply finds a new wrong. 

He brings out the worst in me.  At times I don't like him, I don't want to like him, I don't want to want to like him.  He's mean to me, I'm mean to him.  He fights, I fight back.  Not always, but when my rope has come to an end.  Sometimes this takes days, other times minutes.  

Was he put into my life so I could find out that I don't have the kindness, patience, and joy for a darling orphaned child that I once thought I had?  Did his mother, who lives in a country stricken with poverty and disease and is forced to live day to day without the basic needs that every human deserves, loose her children to me, a wealthy white women who lives in a stable country with accessible healthcare and support for single mothers, because I needed to learn about myself?  Does my son suffer from PTSD,  (we all suffer from his PTSD),  for the sake of something good by the hands of someone good? 

I'm struggling here.  
My existential crisis has turned spiritual I think.
But what's the difference really.