Monday, April 21, 2014

If I was famous it would be for...

Well, it probably doesn't surprise you that if I could be famous for anything*, it would be for the amazing novel that I (never) wrote.  I sometimes envision myself on the Today Show talking about it.

Matt: So who's your biggest influence? 

Me: Hmmm... That's hard to say.  Of course I love the Classic writers like the Bronte sisters, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens - who doesn't.  But I also love some quirky stuff like the well known book, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the lesser know, Tender to the Bone by Ruth Reichl, and the unknown, My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki.   (Toss back my head and laugh in a sofisticated way...)


The second thing I'd like to be known for is my home improvement skills.  Like- why don't I have a show called "DIY Six Pack Mom"? It will (notice I speak in the present because, geesh, why not?) feature me as a female carpenter who simultaneously lovingly cares for my family - feeding, schooling, decorating, gardening... Obviously I'll have a handful of people doing this for me helping me, because it's a TV show.  I'll never be grouchy.  I'll never serve canned bean burrito's three nights in a row, ever...

My second famous-fantasy almost came true today (at least in my heart).  The lady who bought our old house sent me two links today that made me puff up with prideful pride.  Oh yes- so proud.

Please - take a look and THIS LINK and THIS ONE TOO

The family who bought our old beloved home did it such justice.  They bought lots of expensive custom stuff, mixed it with the sweat and tears labor-of-love we put into it, their own immaculate taste, and VOILA, magazine home...  And, they happen to have exquisite taste in dogs. 

I'm sure my current house will one day look that lovely (for one minute while all the kids are at camp or something...)

We have the same dog - although Bent-ster is cuter because he's perfect...
We have the same counter tops

We have the same bathroom tile (Gawd, I miss that old bathroom...)
And, I've brought the tree's back.  We've all missed them.
*You know- besides the obvious "worlds best mom" and devoted servant of Jesus, my savior...

Friday, April 18, 2014

Harrison Reviews the Passover Meal 7.8 out of 10


-Food prep, uninvolved -no score
-Prayer 8.0/10
-Lighting the candles, candles get a 9.1/10
-Pouring the grape juice, grape juice gets a 3.0/10 (watered down)
-Washing hands, soap and water get a 7.1/10
-Bitter herbs and salt water -5.3/10
-Breaking the middle Matzo, matzo gets a 6.2/10
-Hide and go seek with Matzo, no prize and main floor only -7.8/10
-Reading the questions, a little slow 7.6/10
-(Dip the herbs twice, still a 5.3/10)
-More reading -7.3/10
-Reclining -9.7/10
-Lots of pictures with shutter sound and flash -4.7/10
-Yelling at Levi for pouring to much juice -8.4/10
-Started to tell the passover story...
-Lots of unneccesary questions and discusion -4.9/10
-Wyatt gives recap of first 9 plagues -8.2/10
-Dad reads, to much commentary and hand motions -7.0/10
-Wyatt asks dumb question -4.3/10
-Hiyab plays with hexbug, dad stops reading -2.1/10
-Mom interrupts (with permission) but talks about Dr. Who -6.6/10
-Dayeinu song -0.3/10
-Daniel Lilja impression -8.7/10
-Horse radish crying -7.8/10  
-Sweet Mortar -8.6/10
-Matzo balls with broth bland but in a good way -8.7/10
-Hermon complains about his knife -5.0/10
-Talk about prom (better then normal) -7.2/10
-Mom gets a text -7.4/10  
-Levi asks about more crackers, mom says yes -8.1/10
-Dad steals Hermon crackers-6.2/10
-Dad reads the passover story from John -9.8/10
-Ezra eats cracker  noisily, dad pauses -4.2/10
-Hermon asks dumb question -4.3/10
-Stained the table cloth with a pen -0.1/10
-Levi asks question about child birth 7.0/10
-Mom answers 7.3/10
-Charlie the Unicorn reference -9.0/10
-Ezra talks about cake (it's a lie) -8.1/10
-Portal reference --8.2/10
-Hermon talks about first born children -7.9/10
-Ezra plays with hexbug -2.2/10
-Thanks be to God -10/10
-Finding the Hidden matzo (Ezra wins) -6.3/10
-Hermon complains about losing -6.0/10
-Comparing Jesus to the matzo -9.2/10
-Hiyab draws on the tablecloth -0.1/10
-Wyatt toots -0.7/10
-Levi complains about candy -1.3/10

The Verdict: 7.8/10 (Overall not an average)

Pros:
the Prayer
Reclining
The Bible reading
The Matzo balls
The candles
The Daniel impression
Short and sweet

Cons:
Song
Pen on the tablecloth
No company
The complaining
The juice  
(Added by Mom- No LAMB!)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Hobbit Hole

 Royal's personal suite is complete!

This innocent wall had no idea what was about to occur
I did this with a power hand saw.  SO messy, yet so satisfying!

End of Day 1: "What the h*ll have I gotten myself into."



Ezra "the collector of historical things" was forced kindly asked to give up his private space for the good of the family.  He doesn't believe in communism and feels like this wasn't quite fair, but he hasn't complained and is being a champ about it. 
My number one biggest helper...
I didn't show the ugly-ugly phase of this space.  It was a cavernous hole and I had NO IDEA how to frame it out.  It hurt my brain figuring out angles and whatnot.  Never again will I underestimate the skills of my Russians.
I know it looks like I've left the Hobbit Hole, but the truth is I still have hours and hours of labor to finish up in the other room.  (Uh- Dad? Are you sick of Spain yet? I could use a little help here.) 
I taught my best helper the ancient family secret of tree painting.
Cute little closet with hooks. (Royal said his room needed more "hookers," I said, "I don't think it does.")
Formerly pink dresser is now red - more manly.
"Dear Jesus, Bless this room and give this boy long and restful nights. Amen."