I know people hate hearing about other peoples workouts, especially their Crossfit workouts, but bear with me.
During the past three years I've had several workout related injuries. I had "tennis elbow" for nearly a year, I had an issue with my left hip flexor causing pain during runs and lunges, and most recently the tendon that goes from my left shoulder blade to the base my left ear was strained causing awful headaches. Adding to this, I was really sore for two years. Yes. Two years. Crossfit has a T-shirt that reads, "Never Not Sore" for a reason.
I've been tempted to give up on several occasions thinking I was ruining my body and imagining my knees blowing out and needing a hip replacement, but I enjoy my workouts so much that I've instead found a great physical therapist. I believe now that Crossfit hasn't caused these injuries, but has revealed my physical weaknesses.
I was thinking the other day that Royal has been his own sort of Crossfit in my life. These Royal Crossfit injuries are not physical but relational and emotional. I was emotionally sore for nearly 5 years. I've wanted to quit, thinking he was the cause of the pain. I've feared what may happen in the future. Fortunately, I've found a great therapist to help wade through the dark waters, and can now honestly say that he has revealed my weaknesses, not caused of them.
Physically, I feel stronger and have begun to push myself to improve in my workouts. Emotionally and mentally I also feel stronger. I wish it were possible to cry uncle and say, "Okay! Lesson learned!" but life doesn't work that way. The book of Isaiah (48:10) says, "Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction."
Yes, affliction. Growth takes pain whether we like it not. Maybe one day I will love this affliction in the same way that I love my Crossfit workouts. Initially I hated getting up at 5am to do ridiculous and painful exercises like 100 burpees, 50 pull ups, and 50 wall balls, but I've grown to love it and I've always loved the feeling that comes after a great workout. I don't love the day to day conflict and chaos in my relationship with Royal. It's painful. It's relentless. But I do appreciate the spiritual and emotional growth it's allowed me.
Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to be gracious and joyful at ALL times, not just when the sun is shining.
|I LOVE looking at muscle selfies- mostly because it cracks me up that this is now acceptable in our culture...|